If you haven’t read Part 1 of “In the Pursuit” go back and here to read it!
I was so excited to pick her up that day. Excited to hear every detail about the amazing educational accomplishments she had made that day or the best friend she made during her first hour at preschool. I got to the school to pick her up, helped her find her backpack and coat. Thanked the teacher and off we went. I was eager to get her into the car so I could hear all about her eventful day.
Once in the car I waited for a few minutes, so as not to slam her with questions right away- and then asked THE question:
“So, how was your day?”
her response- “it was good.”
Ok… I need to be more direct.
“What did you do today?”
At 3 years of age her response was “Nothing.”
Seriously- it starts at the age of 3! “Nothing?”
I proceeded to ask questions, but could not get any details about what they did. What is the deal?! This went on and on, finally I just started asking the teacher what they did during the day. She gave me the general play by play of their schedule- but it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted personal details from my daughter- her feelings about school, the other kids, what was going on in that little brain of hers when they read a book about trains or flowers or bees. Did she like it? Did she love it? What is she learning about during the school day that I can reinforce at home? Where does she need help or what are her strengths?
I am sure this is a frustrating thing for many parents. But this planted the seed for me for homeschooling before I even had the first thought about homeschooling. See, I was the person who could debate with you for hours about all the reasons you should NOT homeschool your kids. I am a certified teacher who sees the benefits of public schools… the socialization, the extra curricular activities, being taught by another adult, field trips and the space to make new friends and figure out who they are away from their parents. I also noticed homeschool kids who were embarrassed when people asked them where they go to school and I did NOT want that for my kids.
Many times over now God has shown me that I should “never say never” because when you are in step with the Lord, walking together… you never know what steps he has in store for you or your family.
Then came the turn. A turn in my heart. I am not sure of the exact moment it happened, but I remember thinking- “I really enjoy teaching Addie at home. I really enjoy seeing her face light up at the things she learns. I love being that involved in her life that I know all the details about her education and socialization.”
And God spoke in a whisper to my heart, “So why not homeschool her?”
And I thought… “Why not? Why don’t I?”
My heart had turned because of the whisper of God in my very being.
He pursued me. HE knows what is best for me. He is the one who can turn a cold heart and make it warm up to Him. I did nothing. This is a part of walking with God, being quiet enough and open enough to HIS plans that you can hear him when he whispers into your soul.
I still struggle some days with wanting to “figure it all out.” I am a big planner. I want to have everything planned out. My plan in college was this… I would teach until I had kids, then I would stay home until they were all in school. Once they were all in school, I would go back to teaching and have the summers off at home, all the breaks off with them, eventually I would get my Masters degree and someday my big goal was to be a Mentor teacher- or a College Professor, teaching others the best practices of teaching.
That was my plan.
Thank God he had a different plan for me.
Now when people ask me (which is quite often!), “How long do you plan to homeschool your girls? Through elementary school? Through jr. high? You are for sure going to put them in school during High school, right?! I tell them, we are taking it year by year and day by day. I have no idea what God has planned. I never thought I would be homeschooling in the first place, but I am learning so much about myself and my girls. God is showing me that even when there are difficult days it doesn’t mean that I am in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing. In fact God uses those difficult moments to reshape me and most important of all to remind me to rely on HIM.
If I thought being a lawyer was risky, being a lawyer meant success, being a lawyer was adventurous and spontaneous- I am sure God had a good laugh because I had no idea the amazing journey that would lie ahead when I trusted him with my steps.
Walking with God is spontaneous, adventurous, risky…. that is my calling. To walk with God.
To take the steps one at a time all the while being sensitive to the Spirit doing a new work in my heart. Not knowing what the outcome will be, not knowing if the next step is going to be a part of OUR plan. Not knowing anything, except that if you are walking with God- you are in the center of HIS best for your life. There is no place I would rather be than in the hands of the one who created every fiber of my being. He knows what is best.
In that knowledge, there is Freedom.
In the pursuit, there is Freedom.
God is pursuing you, are you walking with HIM?