“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord, my God, I will give you thanks forever.”
“Lord- we already give you thanks. We praise you because we know you will turn our wailing into dancing. You will remove our sackcloth and clothe us with joy, our hearts will sing again and not be silent and we do give you thanks forever.”
-Journal entry 9-2-14
Yesterday we heard news we didn’t expect. Normally we get news from our agency because we are constantly emailing, thinking about it and pressing for something…anything.
This time we got an email out of the blue.
We have been waiting for a year for our documents to go to court. Not even getting through court, just the documents we need to be submitted to court in the Congo. After much back and forth, many tears and lots of days filled with uncertainty… the papers were completed.
The papers many thought we would never get.
They were handed over to the mayor of the commune to sign.
He didn’t want to sign the papers. He wanted to hold on to them until the country reopened. We were upset but at the same time we understood. There are a lot of risks with being involved with the adoptions in the Congo right now. A lot of risk for the Congolese to have their name on an adoption related document. We were frustrated, but we could wait. So we have been waiting it out for weeks knowing that parliament is currently meeting and eventually decisions would be made on adoption related issues. Once those decisions were made, the mayor would feel comfortable signing the papers and then we would hear the good news!
Parliament is not done meeting, we don’t think they have even talked adoption.
So maybe it will be awhile..
When I was least expecting it (I was taking a nap!) my husband came in and woke me saying,
“You aren’t going to believe this! We got an e-mail from our agency and the mayor has given the go ahead in our case!”
So many things flooded my mind in that second.
We were being given GOOD news?! Our case it moving forward?
Before we expected?
I am learning to lean in and trust in God’s timing. There are so many things we can’t control, many things we can’t schedule or add to our calendars. I am definitely a calendar person. My best friend is absolutely NOT a calendar person. So when we make plans I will make sure to say “Putting it on the calendar?” I need to know that what we planned, what we both anticipate… WILL actually happen because we blocked out that space on our calendar for each other. I have gone away from a paper calendar and primarily use my phone calendar. I love it! Not only do I always have it with me, but I can set a reminder to “ding!” in case I forget what I have planned that day.
With our adoption story, timing has not been in our control. There has not been anything about our adoption process that I can write on our calendar to remind me that “Ding!” Today we will receive this completed paperwork! “Ding!” Today we will get approved and pass through court! I have had to let go and completely trust in God and those who are helping us to bring Phoebe home; our lawyer, our caseworkers, our agency, the orphanage, the mayor, the judge of the commune and even the country itself.
We can’t control any of it.
This has been hard.
But just recently I have found freedom.
Here is an entry from my journal two months ago:
“Lord, what’s going to happen? We are pushing through, we will do whatever we can to see that she comes home. Phoebe, we are so close! WE have the papers for court! Maybe this time next week we will be submitted to court. Lord- you have done this. You have made a way for this little blessing, this little girl. Give us courage now as we take a huge step of Faith and continue through court even though the country is not yet open. I pray you give my husband wisdom, faith, hope and courage. I ask you give him the next steps our family should take. Living day by day is less burdensome than trying to predict the future. God I give the future to you and ask you to help me focus on the JOYS of today! The problems that today brings and the answers for today. Help me live in the present and not worry about tomorrow. Teach me Present Kingdom Living- In the Now. Open my eyes to see your plan for today. Give me strength and energy to do all I need to do as a wife, momma and teacher. Lord, prioritize my day and show me how to bring your kingdom here.”
“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.”
“ Let your roots grow down into HIM, and let your lives be built on HIM, then you faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”
A sweet friend recently encouraged me with the words that one day,when Phoebe is here, it will be our new normal. We will look back on all of this time, waiting and struggle and it will feel so small in comparison to the gift of having her in our lives.
WE will be there someday.
Trust in that, hold on to that
, We will look back and see the goodness of the Lord in every bit of our story.
I really needed to hear those words- that one day, Phoebe being here will be our new normal.
How have you seen the Lord’s timing in your story?