“What about Abraham, our father? Wasn’t he shown to be righteous through his actions when he offered his son Issac on the altar? See, his faith was at work along with his actions. In fact, his faith was made complete by his faithful actions.” James 2:21-22
The Lord Will Provide. My husband spoke those words to me. God will provide the ram. He will provide in place of the sacrifice.
Journal Entry: April 26, 2012
“I sense you (God) asking me to sacrifice something dear to my heart- my diamond engagement ring.”
Selling it because the worth of our daughter, in Africa, far outweighs the cost that we put on things… on stuff… on rocks. My thoughts were this: “God, how can I wear a rock on my finger worth so much money, when we have a child out there who is struggling just to survive? At the same time, this ring was a gift from Chadwick. God, if this is a step of faith you are asking of me, make it clear to Chadwick as wel
l.” I toiled for weeks. I told the Lord, I want to do this. I will do this. I will sell this. My engagement ring. But, it has to come from my husband and not me. This was his gift to me. I left it in God’s hands.
A week or so later, my husband brought up selling some valuables we own to raise money for our adoption. Our adoption that will end up costing close to $32,000. On his own, he mentioned my ring.
I tried to hold in my excitement and make him think it was his idea. He said it was up to me, my choice. Because it was his gift to me.
I let him in on my little conversation with God.
So i took my ring off. I got used to not wearing it, my soul felt lighter and more free. I prayed,
“God- give me the courage it takes to sell something so special to me. Knowing that stepping out in faith will make my faith that much stronger and the reward much greater.”
We said we would continue to pray. We did.
Journal Entry: April 30, 2012
The ring is gone. Well, not officially, but I said good-bye and tried it on one last time as Chadwick took a piece of our history, a piece of our love story to sell to gain a Bigger part of our family love story-something bigger than even we can comprehend at this point. I didn’t expect to cry- but the reality of what I was giving up hit me in that moment. This was my most prized possession. This was something I had treasured for 10 years. This was a piece of me.
“God you ask us to take a step of faith, to rely on you in our weakness. We don’t have the $ for this adoption-but I know you have a plan. Thank you that I can trust in your word. That you will be or strength and that our faith will be made complete by our faithful actions. This is my… our, faithful action. Make our faith complete.”
We were both expecting to get at least half of what he originally paid. We were both disappointed.
Chadwick came back. With the ring. I was frustrated. All the emotional ups and downs and he still had the ring.
He said the jeweler was sorry, but he could only give us less than %20 of it’s original value. The amount he would give us was not worth selling. We were disappointed. We were confused.
“Thank you that we had something to offer as a sacrifice- but show us what to use instead. God provide the funds to start the adoption.”
Then my husband pointed me back to the scripture reference
we felt that our sacrifice came from. The story of Abraham and Issac. God asked Abraham to give up something far more valuable than a diamond. He asked him to give his only son. The one who was promised to be the father of many nations. Talk about confusing! Abraham did what God asked. He tied Issac on the altar, and raised his knife to make the sacrifice then God intervened. He said “Do not lay a hand on the boy. Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” He provided a ram in place of Issac. That place became known as Jehovah Jireh. The Lord provides.
Journal Entry: May 1, 2012
“Lord, my soul feels at unrest. After not selling my ring yesterday I became depressed. You keep speaking to my spirit- “Not your strength… but MINE.” God, how do I do that? I still need to do something- have a garage sale, work, fundraise won’t you bless those efforts? I should feel relieved that my ring didn’t sell- but I am disappointed. What plans do you have, God? How will the $ come to save our child? I feel a sense of urgency. I want to find her, reassure her that she has a home, a family, a God who loves her and created her for a purpose. I want to know what her little face looks like and what her eyes speak that her mouth cannot. I want to see her smile and laugh and I pray for her sweet spirit. Where is she now? God- creator of all things- go to her. Do what I cannot- take delight in her- reassure her- care for her- speak to her soul. Reassure her that her family is fighting to bring her home. Why does it have to be so hard, God? Why does it have to cost so much money? Lord- make a way. Open doors and bring the funds. Our trust and faith are in you.”
I did not get to make the sacrifice I intended, but because we took the step of faith to sell what God asked- “things” no longer have a hold on us. We feel freedom. Our faith was made stronger.
Instead of that sacrifice
God said wait.
God says, “I am your strength, trust in me.”
God says keep waiting… keep trusting.
We keep waiting and trusting
Little by little…
When we need it….
God provides it.
He is our provider.
If you were to walk into my home, you would see a framed picture of Africa, on loan to me by a dear friend who brought home a son from Ethiopia. On the glass of that frame is written “Jehovah Jireh.” I wrote this as a statement, a proclamation and reminder… in this place… in our home… is a God who provides. After the experiences we have been through, this character of God has been weaved into the fabric of who I am and of what I want my story to reflect. So when I am discouraged I look up and see “Jehovah Jireh” and in my heart I can’t stop myself from speaking of His goodness and faithfulness…
God Thank you for-
Early morning sunshine
Little girls that want to be near their mommy
A husband that listens to God for direction
warmth in a mug of coffee
Friends that remember
protecting our sweet little Phoebe
the $ we have need to bring a little Congolese princess into our family
For your promises….